Am i a terrible person?

10 months ago i went down a year because i was struggling with year 10 and finding it hard with the cl cause i was the most different quitest girl in the cl so i joined a new cl they had more people they are some nice people in that cl i made friends with a group of girls i did find them nice people and they involved me for the first 2 months i turned emo just when i joined the cl then 2 month later i started cutting because i was depressed and hurt inside people found out and i got sent to a counseller my friends tried helping me if i stand in the crowd before school im just stood on my own and they say hi and thats it but now i just go off inside cause i cant be bothered standing there at breaktimes i just do my own thing then lunchtimes i hang out with them when we go outside we sit round a bench and then they leave me and im just left there and they go off talking to yr 9 boys i might not like and some yr 7s or yr 8s i dont know or talk to very much i constantly keep getting upset about that all they ever say to me each day hi you orite then thats it they dont like talk a proper conversation its the same on facebook as well im always on my own im always alone in ict and some other times ill be on my own and its like people treat me like im the emo freak and everyone else is COOL i like goth music , emo music, metal,sweep fringe and eyemakeup and dark mystcal clothes theres no1 else like that at my school cause my school is small and its a chirstian school i like my style and i dont let ANYONE change it all the other girls are colorful and like music i cant stand and sometimes they try to change my look like tieing my hair up or putting makeup but i cant stand it cause i think i look like abit of a tart or chav or some posh cly person i feel ignored and everyone hates me but people say they dont hate me and i need to involve and talk more i tryed but they ignore me they done that to other people and i get blamed if i hide away cause i cba standing there alone all the time i just dont know wtf is going on and i need answers